Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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