I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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