I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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