Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
