I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
