i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
