so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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