I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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