Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
