is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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