we have officially lost it.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
