just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
