Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
