I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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