Don't you send me to vm
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
