Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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