grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
