that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
