plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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