did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
