In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Your mouth is God's brothel.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
