I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
did i just pee glitter
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
