I faked an abortion last night.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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