Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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