I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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