Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We're too hungover to prance.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
