I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
