Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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