I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
