I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
