Do you still have your period?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
