how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
