Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
