Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize