i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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