PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
