we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
