You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
