Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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