my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Randomize
