His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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