The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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