I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
