It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
