3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
