My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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