really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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