CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize