Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
