before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
