life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
