I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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