Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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