This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My bed smells like the plague
God, I missed his penis.
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