so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
