just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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