i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
