best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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