yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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