i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
