I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
