I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
