The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
