His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
well you can't waste a boner
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
