Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
