Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This is not my ceiling
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
