hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
