im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
