He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
