I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
