arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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