just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
