That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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