planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
