you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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