you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
